Do you really know yourself young les? Do any of us?
Do we know each other? Do we know what we want, what we need, where we’re going?
Nope, no fucking clue really.
Which of the words below most attracts you?
A- Love
B- Health
C- Chemistry
D- Shit
If you were an animal, what would you be?
A- Cheetah
B- Lion
C- Eagle
D- Pubic lice
Who would you take with you to a desert island?
A- Jennifer Beals
B- Mahatma Ghandi
C- Amanda Burton
D- Clitty RubQuick
How do you know when you fancy someone?
A- My heart beats quickly
B- I feel my face get slightly warm
C- I find myself smiling when I see her
D- My pants fall off and I start touching my vagina
For fun and recreation I like to…..
A- Listen to my Ipod
B- Take a Yoga class
C- take weekend breaks
D- I like to pitch my tent in my backyard and hunt pigeons
If on a date, what would you drink ?
A- barardi Breezer
B- lager
C- bourbon & coke
D- a cup of my morning urine from a thermos
If I could have my ideal job it would be ?
A- IT consultant
B- Television presenter
C- Landscape gardener
D- Vibrator designer
I would describe myself as…
A- cheeky but shy
B- attractive but offstandish
C- a people person
D- slightly hunchbacked but well intentioned
My favourite song of all time is
A- “Hello”-Lionel Richie
B- “Slow”- Kylie Minogue
C- “Georgia”- Ray Charles
D- “My tongue Just cain’t stop lick’n Ya Lady Lovah”
Snakey Whitlam
A= 1 point for each A
B= 2 points for each B
C= 3 points for each C
D= 4 points for each D
Score 7-10 As a lesbian you’re intune slightly to who you are and what you want. You know your powers of persuasion and that you’re attractive to the same sex. You work in a field that fulfills you and you know where you want to tak your life. Pity you’ve only got weeks to live.
Score 10-15 As far as knowing yourself goes, you’re on your way to having some idea of what makes you tick. Some would disagree and say you’re a clueless fuck who could’nt organise a fuck in a brothel. You’re the kind of girl who’d stand up for herself and disagree, causing an argument which is probably why you find it difficult to hang on to friends. The last time you had sex was probably last January. Are we wrong? We think not, but if we are, SUE US!
Score 16-789 You’re a lesbian with her head screwed on right. You know whats going on with you and the world to the extent that we reckon you could probably end the war in Iraq whilst giving Amanda Burton a quick fingering at the same time. We’d like you to come in and take over the running of Biva. Please phone Fran on 017298721232 and let her know when you can start. There’s free Absinthe on tap.
