Biva’s new interactive Problem page. Can you help our troubled readers out? To reply simply click the ‘Comment’ link and post your response.
Dear Biva,
My long-term partner and I are to tie the knot later this year. The current trend seems to be to take one partner or the others surname. My partner refuses, rather unfairly, to take on my name. I can’t see a way to resolve it and it’s causing some tension,
Yours faithfully
Kylie Hitler
Little Shitling
Anklecester
Dear Biva
I recently spilled a tiny drop of bleach on my mauve vibrator and it now looks rather unsightly.
Do you know a way to cover up this slight discolouration? I tried using nail polish but in my haste to make love to myself, I forgot to let it dry and it became enmeshed in my pubic hair.
Any help greatly appreciated
Rhona Nudge,
Stanton Muffcourt
Dear Biva,
We are taking a trip around Europe next year in our car and Jess, our 2-year-old Border collie hates sitting in the back seat. Do you think it would be okay to let him drive?
Jill and Liz Monroe-Silt,
Chutneyshire
Dear Biva,
I recently bought a new house and, much to my chagrin, discovered that a pair of heterosexuals had previously inhabited it. I am now on the hunt for a kind of witch who might exorcise any trace of this abhorrence from my abode. Can you aid me?
Nanceene Grubb,
Dogchester
Dear Biva,
I was recently gifted a fetching studded antique harness and am searching for a matching dildo to complete the set. I have searched high and low but to no avail. Can you suggest where I might find one or perhaps and artisan who might craft me the implement to my specifications,
Yours
Sincerely
Cora-Jean
Little Slutting
Dear Biva
I went out last night to a bar in Southwark with my friend Tammy and woke up in a ditch in Lesbos with a goat licking my face. Do you think I have a drinking problem?
Anne,
Cockham
Somewhereshire
