Gorgeous Hollywood actress/director/lesbian Jody Foster has had her homosexuality immortalised on a tasteful fridge magnet. The newly announced lesbian was unavailable for comment on the gorgeously crafted heirloom but one has been sent to her home, registered post.
Freaky Friday Star Mentions Possible Woman Lover’s Name in Public
Published in New Gay Things
Gay and lesbian rights activists were said to be thrilled though stunned when Hollywood actress Jodi Foster publicly acknowledged what some are guessing may be her long hidden lesbian partner, Cydney, in an award speech.
‘That really came out of left field,’ said Marlene D’Erek of COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE, the radical California based paramilitary style group aimed at outing closeted homosexuals celebrity.
‘We are fully aware that Jodi isn’t man-married but we never in a million years would have guessed she was one of us. She’s done our job for us. Strength in numbers,’ said an ecstatic Ms-ter D’Erek raising a clenched fist.
Ms Foster, pictured left, star of 1976 Hollywood classic Freaky Friday, was unavailable for comment, but when contacted by our reporter, a source close to the star said angrily that Ms Foster ‘might have a dog named Cydney, she might have been thanking the girl who gives her a Brazilian, she might have been talking about the Cydney Harbour bridge,’
When our reporter replied, ‘Sorry, but Sydney Harbour bridge starts with an ‘S”.’ a fight broke out over the phone and insults were exchanged.
Saucy Santa Suit for Sapphs Hits the Streets
Published in New Gay Things
A sexy new Santa suit aimed at the lesbian market hit the shops today just in time for the silly season.
Marketing director for Gayshitwithrainbowson Ltd, Jolene Punk, said the suit, pictured left, filled a hole in the market. ‘A lot of lesbians are into Christmas, but some of them just don’t want anything male involved. We’re aiming at a market that might harbour some secret and sexy Santa fantasy. Maybe it’s Mrs Claus popping in with a sack on Christmas day, coming down more than just the chimney,’
The suit is available online at Gayshitwithrainbowson.com and larger Woolworth’s
Holidaying Lesbian Stunned by Loch Ness Image on Floor
Published in New Gay Things
A UK lesbian on holiday in South Africa claimed yesterday to have seen the image of the Loch Ness monster burned into the terracotta tile of her brother’s kitchen floor.
The lesbian, a plumber from Durham, said she first noticed the image, pictured left, around 9pm on Sunday morning.
‘My brother was making pancake batter and I was inquiring as to what his recipe comprised when out of the corner of my eye, I I beheld this apparition in front of the water cooler,’
The brother, who wished to remain nameless, said that it wasn’t the first time his sister had experienced visions.
‘She once claimed she saw Jennifer Beals appear on a microwave plate.’
Haggard Quits Begging Forgiveness and Begs for Cash
Published in New Gay Things
Disgraced former Televangelist, Ted Haggard, was spotted on his knees in the streets of Phoenix yesterday begging for his university tuition fees.
The former New Life Church pastor plans to seek a master’s degree in counseling at the University of Phoenix while his wife studies psychology.
For the man who once held weekly phone conversations with George W.Bush, it seemed quite a fall from grace. But Mr Haggard remained upbeat.
‘Asketh and thy shall receive,’ Mr Haggard shouted to passersby.
Haggard, who until recently could be found on his knees with a penis in his mouth, said, ‘The Lord told us that we need a degree to carry on doing his work and we all know how much a can of Coca Cola costs on campus.’
