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| Welcome to "Ladeeland Love Island", BIVAS brandnew picto-mic strip! Read on and join the girls in PARADISE! |
Tired of city lilfe, Karen and Colleen, long term lovers, decide to move to an island and form a commune of like minded ladies.
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Soon, word spreads of the communes success and ladeez who do ladeez are landing ashore in droves.
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| Captain Sheree, former Naval Officer, on board to ship the ladeez in, realises the demand is greater than her capacity. She decides to enlist help by taking off her top and waving her bosom around. |
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| Kate, "Emigration Consultant", sets up the delousing shower, to make sure no bi- curious ladeez allow a stray and damaging "hetero-germ" ashore. |
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Helen and Pauline, a
couple of swingers from
Norway, renounce their
bi-curiosism under Kates
powerful nozzle....
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....however, dastardly deeds are underway when one of the new arrivals, the slatternly Hannah, keeps a penis tucked up her backside, taking it out on occasion for a nibble, which could cause chaos on "Ladeeland Love Island"
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Meanwhile, in the Chastity Bono Memorial Birthing Suite and Insemination Unit, Leanne, the most fertile of the lesbians, goes into labour, crying out for help from midlesbian, Renee. "Push, push" cries Renee as the first of the new race of SUPERLESBIAN comes in to view between Leannes legs..... |
...and Renee grasps the umbilical chord between her manly woman hands and bites through it to sever the mother child bond, as the child will be raised, as the wolf baby, by the PACK, the pack of lesbians making their own way on "Ladeeland Love Island"
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tune in next week when.......... the girls on the island almost starve when Naomi finds herself unable to drive her cart when her finger becomes lodged in her arse....
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Last week, horse and hound expert, Naomi found herself with one of her very own digits inexplicably lodged in her arsehole, rendering her incapable of hunting food or making cheese. This week poor Barbra finds herself afflicted and questions the origins of such a syndrome.
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Gina, an intrepid diver, has found an antique objetc at the bottom of the sea and announces her willingness to come to the rescue of those afflicted with the Finger in the Arse syndrome. But hang on, whats this?.....could the object be the oft sought but never found......... |
...SAPPHO'S BUTT PLUG!
Dr Melodie, Sapphologist and Professor of Lesbic Activity In Antiquity at the Jeanette Winterson, University overcome
with excitement, faints dead away and the others rush to her aid, waving their vaginas in her face to try and bring her round. |
It seems the girls may have a problem on their hands. Could it be ......god forbid...a curse??
Like that of Tutankhamen?
The girls are falling into comas all over the beach and the smelling vaginas fail to bring them around.
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But at that moment, help arrives ashore in the form of Donna-Lynne, former professional boxing trainer, known to have the smelliest vagina in christendom. As she makes her way to the stricken girls she gropes for her vagina with great haste and begins to wave it under the noses of the prostrate lesbians.
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Dr Melodie comes to, feeling slightly ashamed that she has no underwear on and is surrounded by lebians staring down at her, with worried expressions. "It's time to investigate" she says to the other inhabitants of
Ladeeland Love Island,
"But first, weve got some finger removing from arses to do"!
The girls cry out in unison in support of Dr Melodie, who seems to be taking on the role of head lesbian on the island where ladeez love ladeez freely and without fear...... ! |
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| Some lesbians- Part 1 |
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Best friends Megan and Paula are standing in Upper Street Islington trying to decide what to do on Sunday evening......meanwhile... |
......back at her bedsit, single mother and new lesbian Janet, enrols in Gaydar Girls, meanwhile...... |
....Sam has the same idea as Megan and Paula, though Max, not out to her folks, has to take down all the Amanda Burton posters before her parents arrive......... |
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| ....Katie gets an emergency session with her therapist........ |
...meanwhile, Colleens first day at M&S Shoes goes badly.... |
....later on that evening, Mikki takes her sister in law to a gay bar to hopefully dispel some of the myths surrounding her Gayism.... |
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| ...And ex lovers Kate and Felicity, not having seen each other since the Candy Bar fire, run into each other in the street..... |
meanwhile......after the M&S Shoes debacle, Colleen gets a job with the Pink Paper, Heathrow branch, only to be struck with an unfortunate arrival her first day........ |
..meanwhile in Hoxton, PonyGirl, artist, who lost much of her new work in the Great Candy Bar Fire of 2005 is interviewed by CUNTMag, the hottest selling mag by girlz for girlz in swingin Londinium........ |
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Welcome to the Adventures of Gay school, where class is just a state of mind! Things are hotting up at school as end of term rolls around and the students are worried about passing their H-levels. |
....Meanwhile in "Map reading
for young bum bandits, Billy
asks Captain Fooha-Tot to
show him how manhugging
is done....unaware of the
drama unfolding in the
caretakers cottage....
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...where Mrs Butty the Non-Gay Housekeeper realises she's lost her will to live and asks Barry, the head boy to check behind the laminate panelling in her bedroom....
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Meanwhile in the Gay School Dawn Fraser Memorial Olympic swimming Pool, Megan and Joanne practise muff diving....meanwhile.... |
 Mrs Butty is relieved when
Barry finds it. She weeps a little on Barrys shoulder and exclaims, "Since Mr Butty
died, I keep misplacing my will to live. It fell from my purse in Sainsburys the other day. Luckily someone found it and handed it in. She does a little jig and
leaves Barry to clean up the mess. |
Barry asks Lance in to help him put Mrs Buttys bedroom back together and Barry exclaims, "Hey Lance, fancy a dance.....?"They laugh uproariously and then take off their clothes and kiss.
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.....after they towel each other off Megan whispers into Joannes Lesbian Ear, "Would you do me the honour and accompany me to theGay School Social?" Joanne cries. "I love Gay School so much. Its so wonderful isnt it Meagn" Then they take their swimsuits off and kiss. |
Back in the classroom the Infant
Gays are in Anatomy For the Young Gay Gay. Terry tries to pull Bradleys thong through his shorts. Bradley gives a little shriek and Mr Blaggard, far from disappointed, gives Bradley
an "A" for Shrieking Like A Poof....
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......But keeps poor Terry back after class during "Blow Jobs for Juniors". Terry cries and confides in Mr Blaggard that he fears he may be a heterosexual and that may be why he can't suck nob.
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 Mr Blaggard sends Terry down to the Oscar Wilde Gay School Memorial Bibliotech to study Sir Elton Johns biography..."Look," exclaims Terry, "Lady David Furnish has such a pretty smile......" |
In the Calvin Klein Memorial Centre for
Self Expression Through Stitch, Daryl
and his team of helpers prepare costumes
for The Gay School Social. "its going to be
better than Mardi Gras", shrieks Daryl.
"Careful Darly", cautions Emily, "You might
prick your finger with that safety pin."
"Oooh thats not the kind of prick Im
hoping for," quips Daryl. Gales of
laughter ring out and Barry almost
faints with joy....when suddenly |
....later that evening, Raymond, the youngest Gay School Pupil toasts marshmallows at Mr Hensgen the Gay Biology Masters grate while Mr Hensgen, dressed as Geri Halliwell, knits Raymond a pencil case. "Raymond, come here lad, I need to show you something"......what Mr Hensgen is about to show Raymond will rock Gay School to its very foundations..... |
 Mr Hensgen has discovered an ancient manuscript with detailed drawings of the Tree Of Man showing quite clearly......
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....a plainly heterosexual couple at the bottom and Gays....at the Very Top!
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..Meanwhile in the playground, safe in their homosexualitlyism, Geoff and his partner in "Is There Such a Phenomena as Bisexuality Class" Peter, discover that they don't swing both ways. "The swing of love never lies" chuckles Peter.
"Turn and kiss me on the front of my pants" laughs Geoff.....meanwhile
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....... that night, in the Quentin Crisp Memorial Junior Gay Dormitory, Mr Fontainbleu demonstrates some Gay Dances for Roger and his roomate Brian in preparation for the Gay School Social.
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Brian looks on enviously. "Mr Fontainbleu,
will I ever move as smoothly around
the floor as you?" pleads the Young
Apprentice Gay.
"Oh Brian, por you, we hope soon to
find a cure for your disability and
then you'll move as smoothly as
shit through a goose. Roger, bunk
in with Brian tonight and keep him cosy."
The boys hop into bed and as Mr
Fontainbleu swriches out the light,
the boys take off their pyjamas and kiss.
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Back in the Martina Navratilova Memorial Tennis Court and Sapphic Gymnasium Tennis Court Changing Rooms, after a hard game,Emily and Hanna pose for the teams photos looking fetching in moustaches. Emily weeps quietly after seeing the proof sheet and realising no amount of chest wrapping can conceal her burgeoning womanhood....meanwhile....... |
....... back at the Robert Mapplethorpe Memorial Art Room and Centre for Creative Expression Through Fisting, Miss Lick, dressed as Morrissey and Mr Pritchard, dressed as Nancy Reagan, discuss the decorations for the Gay School Memorial Bette Davis Coming Out Prom Barbecue.
"I'm going to do a pavlova and and a couple of apple pies." says Miss Lick. "Oooh, are you going to let Miss Prism whip your cream for you?" teases Mr Pritchard? Miss Lick blushes at the double entendre....
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....and in the Julian Clary Memorial
Woodworking Room the "Double
Entendre for Young Queens"
class is well underway.
Miss Hugg, dressed as David
Bellamy asks Mr Lampard,
dressed as Natasha Kaplinsky
to turn on his drill. "Oooh, Mr
Lampard, wheres your cord
plugged in. I cant find the hole?"
The Young Gay Queens shrieks
are heard throughout the school
and Young Gay Malcolm actually
faints with joy and requires the
smelling salts....meanwhile....
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....in the Francis Bacon Memorial Painting and Embroidery Studio, Artist in Residence Miss Pluquett, dressed as Jackson Pollock adds the finishing touches to her new work, "The Closet Door Gets Bigger Every Day"...meanwhile.... |
..back in the Dusty Springfield Memorial Dormitory, Miss Butty prepares a bucket of hot wax for the first "Pant Moustache Waxing for The Hirsute Young Lesbian"... |
...while Linda, the winner of the Gay
School Senior Lesbian Andre Dworkin
Memorial Lesbian Weightlifting
Cup demonstrates to the juniors
just what set her apart from the others ........ |
....Meanwhile, finally its the night of the Massif Gay School Lord Barbara Windsor Memorial Barbecue Faux Commitment Ceremony Progressive Dinner and the boys head for the dormitory to press their gowns......meanwhile...."Come on gang", shouts Barry, "Last one to the ironing boards a boy.....!" They laugh so much Darryl runs into a tree and hurts his cock. |
....Sophie and Helen test the sub-sprung Dale Winton Memorial Dance Floor and find it superb...."Sophie, I feel light as a feather, like lords a leapin...watch me spin....". Helen looks on as Sophie does the dance routine from Waterloo. "Come here Sophie, let me wipe the sweat from the crack of your arse." |
...meanwhile back in the Long
John Baldry Memorial Shower
Hall and Urinal Miss Balding,
dressed as Montgomery Clift,
draws the bath for the boys..... |
..meanwhile it's almost time for the entrance of the Queen of the Prom drawn on the Yves Saint Laurent Memorial Chariot of Gay Wonderment....But, who will it be this year........? |
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